Fighting Down the Pain
by HolyHollyMetal
Summary: Dean was at his peak of the sadness that drowned him because of the departure of Cas when the Leviathans took him under water to anywhere. Cas visits him in his dream and "things" happen. Warning for cursing and sexual scene(s). Dean/Castiel, Destiel, Dean x Castiel


**This is my first rated M fanfic so yeah and I am lazy to not revise te story so by warned of some mistakes. Sort of inspired by the song Runnin' by Adam Lambert. Scene set left off at when Castiel was drowned by the Leviathans in season seven, 7x01. Here is a random one-shot for ya. Words in italic is like the third person writing of the story. Rated M for cursing and sexual scene(s).  
I hope you like it :)**

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**Summery: **Dean was at his peak of the sadness that drowned him because of the departure of Cas when the Leviathans took him under water to _anywhere_. Cas visits him in his dream and "things" happen. Warning for cursing and sexual scene(s).

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_..::Fighting down the pain::.._

I, Dean Winchester, have had a friend who died from the Leviathans. No, not just a friend, a best friend. This best friend is an angel named Castiel. He calls himself "Angel of the Lord", maybe you heard of him. Well, let me get you to where I am. I am drinking at a bar, drinking my worries down.

Bobby says it completes the 'circle of pain'. Sorrow, hate, and worry. You could say I am washing ''worry'' down the fuckin' drain, if only I could get rid of this worry I have for my best friend. I swear it's like I love him, like more then a friend. I wouldn't say I hate it but now that he is gone. It's like there is nothing left to love other then my little bro, Sammy.

I right now am talking to no one. I sit here in the bar stool taking as many shots as possible.

_Dean held his, promised, last shot for the day and swished it in the little glass watching the ember liquid dance. The older Winchester stared at the small glass then drunkenly took it down. He got up and swayed over to his brother who sat at an old wooden dining table. Sam was on his laptop researching the towns history. __Dean sat next to Sam, looked at his brother, and when Sam glanced back Dean would look away. _

I can't even look at Sammy in the eye. Every time I do he goes all chick flick on me. He begins to ask questions like 'Does it bother you, Cas gone?' or 'Is it Cas's absence that's making you drinking away?' I don't think I can take another _stupid _question. When can Sam just get that Cas is gone and I have to just deal with it, on my own. There is something in the back of my mind that wishes for help.

_Sam shut the device and turned to his older brother. "Dean, drinking isn't going help in any way. I came to this place for the dining and a chance to investigate this case. Not for you to drink," Sam spoke in a angry tone. "Well, Sam, fuck the investigation. I came here to drink and drink I will. As Bobby says the only way the get rid of the circle of pain is with 'em booze," Dean, drunken, said. _

I can't help but be so mean, why I am I still here and not in Hell. I am at least happier he didn't ask a question.

_"Cas will come back Dean he always will. I know this is why your so worked up. Isn't it?" Sam questioned his brother. Dean let out a small growl._

Damn it he did ask a question.I guess I can give him an answer, but I won't.

_Dean sighed. "Sam I really don't want to talk about Cas," Dean begun, "Let's get back to the hotel," he finished as he got up, stumbling to the door. He was drunk enough to lose were he was. Sam followed him. Sam opened the diner/bar's door so Dean could get at least outside. Sam helped Dean to the Impala while in the process he slipped the keys from Dean's hand into his own. "Dean, no way in Hell are you driving, so I will," Sam told him hoping he would not lash out for his keys being taken. Sam hated the fact his brother did this over someone who was lost, Sam mean's it was not very new to them both. "Whatever, don't hurt my baby," Dean spoke through his teeth._

Why do I do this to myself, oh yeah. My angel is gone for probably forever. I hope to who ever is running Heaven that Cas is resurrected. I miss him, too much and this ''too much'' isn't enough. Oh God why did I have to be so drunkenly tired. I feel like shit, I'll have a headache for like an hour or two. I hope Sam can help. Sam's probably pissed at me for this. So, close to blacking out.

_Sam turned on the old car, letting out a loud sound of an engine starting. _

Damn, that is loud. Well, everything is now. What did that bartender put in my drinks? Fuck it, I'm going to Hell again in any other way I would prefer it now in this trance of being extremely drunk. Oh Cas, come back to me.

_Sam began on the road to the hotel. The younger Winchester glanced in the review mirror to the drunk. "Dean," Sam began with a sigh, "Why are you doing this, your so drunk," Sam finished concerned._

Sam don't give me that bitch face. I can't even answer him. God damn, the headache started.

_Dean held his forehead hoping to ease the pain of his headache. Sam sighed again. "Dean, when we get back I am putting you right to bed," Sam said while acting like the bigger person in the one person conversation. Sam kind of was, he somewhat made no attempt to show he missed Castiel like Dean was. Sam thought that Dean was acting like a teenage girl with her first terrible break up. "Whatever," Dean tiredly spoke. After a while of driving in the silence with only Dean's mumbles audible they arrived to the three storied hotel. Sam parked the Impala and got out. Sam looked at the tall baby blue building then to his brother who struggled to get out of the car. Dean glanced to his brother then to the neon pink hotel sign that had the name of the hotel on it and if there was an vacancy._

Ugh that sign is so bright, Hell, any light is. This damn headache is just getting worse. Look away from the light. I'm like a freaking vampire.

_Dean looked away from the sign and followed his brother to the lobby of the run down hotel. The Winchesters walked up two flights to their room on the third floor. Sam entered the room and waited for Dean to at least lay down somewhere so the younger Winchester could stop worrying about his brother. Dean stumbled into the "gay parade" room with soft pink walls and a magenta themed bed. Sam found his way to the dark blue lovebird couch so he could sleep there and let Dean sleep in the king sized bed. All Sam could think was thanking Bobby for lending some money to them to get out and hunt so they can forget Castiel's absence for while. Sam also thought why Dean just doesn't forget Cas._

I think at this point I started to black out.

_Dean got all comfortable in the king sized bed and blankly past out. Sam, too, went to sleep just quieter._

_A bright ray of sunlight peered through the small windows onto Dean's face in which this awoke him. Dean groaned from the early point of it._

Hey, my headache is gone.

_He looked to the empty couch to see no Sam. The older Winchester glanced over his shoulder to look at the time but instead his eyes met another pair of eyes. These eyes were bright blue._

I knew who is before me with the 'holy tax accountant' trench coat in which I thought I had right next to me, the lose dark blue tie, the slightly dirty dress shirt, the messy black hair, and those beautiful blue eyes. Damn I am in love with this man.

_"Cas, wh-what are you doing here? I thought you were dead? Cas please answer me," Dean spoke in a worried tone. "Dean I am so sorry," Castiel said. "What do you mean? wait am I dreaming," Dean asked him. "If you wish to be dreaming, then yes," Castiel answered him. "I don't want to be dreaming. You're here that is all that matters," Dean told the angel._

I can't be like this, I like women but when Cas is around I somewhat enjoy it in a sexual way. Damn it.

_Castiel tilted his head in a questionable way. The angel wondered why Dean seemed extremely happy to the fact he was just there, standing. Dean smiled. "Dean I want you to know that I have missed you. I may not have emotions but you send me many in unexplained ways," Castiel told Dean hoping to get a reaction. Castiel did but a different one than he expected. Dean got up from laying down and pulled the angel by his tie to kiss him. Castiel was shocked at first but came to enjoy it. Dean let go of the kiss in amazement of his move._

What the Hell did I just do?

_Dean turned away and stood from the bed. Castiel walked around the bed to be face to face with the human. Dean still shocked from their kiss went into another kiss. Castiel and Dean kiss passionately. Castiel moved closer to the human almost chest to chest. Dean deepened the kissing. __The two begin kissing again with short breaths between every kiss. As they made out Dean pulled Castiel around and pushed him into the fluffy magenta comforter. Dean straddled him and gave dry thrust to the angel. Castiel began to moan by the enjoyment Dean gave him. Dean felt himself get hard and also the other beneath him. His erection fought at the zipper of his jeans. _

Better lose some clothes.

_Dean took off his jacket then his shirt. Castiel followed by throwing his trench coat off along with his shirt and tie. Dean went back to kissing Castiel. The two began to lust for each other. Castiel was sining, but did he care, no because this was Dean he was about to have sex with. Castiel knew nothing on how to have gay sex but lucky Dean knew a thing or two. "Lose the pants," Dean only said and Castiel knew exactly what it meant. Dean got off of Castiel so they both could remove their pants. Dean struggled to remove his pants because he was to impatient to do this with Castiel. The angel was now pant less and underwear less. Dean stared at Castiel's figure._

Damn no wonder he is an angel even underneath his silly clothes.

_Dean finally took off his pants and boxer briefs. The angel lied back on the bed, back to the mattress. Dean again straddled Castiel. Dean lent down kissing Castiel's neck. Dean then kissed those chapped lips of his angel again as he lifted Castiel's legs to his shoulders. "Now Cas, I am going to 'break' you so I don't hurt you," Dean told him. "No don't do this break just go right ahead. I don't care if you hurt me. I want you in me, no, I need you in me," Castiel said and Dean listened. Dean didn't even think twice about any lubricant. Dean lined his erection to Castiel's entrance and entered him with a thrust. Castiel yelled Dean's name because of the pain. Dean felt Castiel not taking it to well so he began to thrust until the pain the angel felt passed. Castiel came to enjoy it and began moaning louder and Dean thrusted faster. "Dean, I'm...going...to...cum," Castiel moaned in satisfaction. _

Already?

_Dean paced his thrust faster until Castiel came to his orgasm. Dean kept going until he hit his climax. Dean let hisself out of Castiel's entrance and he lied next to Castiel. The two were panting. "Damn Cas, I had no clue you missed me that much," Dean spoke still panting. "I love you Dean," Castiel said making the human silent. Dean grinned. "I love you, too," Dean said to his now lover. "Don't leave me Cas, not again," Dean once again spoke. Castiel turned to Dean and hugged him. "Dean it's about time I told you that you are dreaming," Castiel said. "What I'm-," Dean was cut off by blackness. Dean awoke Sam shaking him awake. _

What the fuck? It was a dream!

_"Finally you're awake," Sam said to his brother. Dean glanced around to see no Castiel. The older Winchester was unhappy that it was all a dream. "Oh yeah Dean, put your clothes back on they somewhat are all over the floor along with Cas's coat. I came back from the library to see that they were everywhere," Sam said staring at Dean's clothes. Dean became shocked._

Oh maybe Cas wanted me to think I was dreaming. Nice job Cas you fooled me. So he is back to life, I just wonder how...

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**So that was my first rated M fanfiction. I hope you liked it. I left it incomplete so maybe I could add on any other things. Please leave any questions, comments, or concerns in the reviews. Meow.**


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